RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need to align my fucking chakras
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
