Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
