Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
