dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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