dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
