bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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