if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
