dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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