I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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