is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
