I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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