Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
