guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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