my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
