drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize