Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
