if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize