I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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