i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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