girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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