watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?