Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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