we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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