dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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