I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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