on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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