when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
