my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I look better un-naked...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
