man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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