My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
