he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
be right there i have to get my cape
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
