I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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