She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
