how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
