He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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