Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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