Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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