Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
