It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
