If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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