Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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