dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
