gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Of course I have a pirate flag
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
