Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My feet surprised me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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