I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
