dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
