I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
