How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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