I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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