Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
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sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
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its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.