when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out