u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dating After Heartbreak
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?