90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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