i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
