I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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