4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize