checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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