I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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