pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
it's like iHOP with fire
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
