Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize