So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My cat gives me a boner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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